Why I reboot

In January 2019 I found myself on the edge of in(?)sanity due to constant headaches and shortly after at the beginning of a very long sick leave that is still ongoing.
 
I was diagnosed with a massively irritated vegetative nervous system and tension headaches.

The symptoms forced me to completely shut down my system and change all my routines, revisit not only all my patterns and habits, but also to take a close look at my priorities in life. All this in slow motion, because the slightest bit of tension sent me to bed in no time.

I was forced to reboot ME, my system, reviewing all the software I was using. I do now understand that I was not buggy or didnt' need fixing, no, but the whole setup obviously did not fit my hardware anymore - or has it never?

I ve seen a lot of doctors before I got to this point and afterwards.
It sometimes feels like I spent 2019 mainly in waiting rooms.

In the near future I plan to write more about my experiences and the ongoing process of "healing" to hopefully be useful to people who face similar challenges.

For the moment though and to make sense of this website for you:
what helped to keep me going through all this time was MAKING little things, be it jam or a pair of socks. Not only did I feel less useless when "producing" something, being out of work and all that, but also the whole shift from being absorbed in thoughts and plans in my head only to using my HANDS and senses more again, made a huge difference and helped fill the day with good moments where before it was dark, anxious or just empty because of the lack of everything I used to do.

So on this page you will see some of the results of my reboot time and can purchase them in the tiny shop. But this is not what this page is and will be about.

As you can see also on my instagram profile I am very open about my issues and I want to encourage everyone to do the same.  I hope I can raise more awareness for the subject of overload/stress/anxiety/tension and make people who deal with it more confident to be open about it. There might be even a statement t-shirt coming up in the shop ;)

Because theres nothing to be ashamed of.

02/2020